I WISH I WERE BARBIE
THAT [GIRL]* HAS EVERYTHING
(*Derogative replaced)
What kind of car do you suppose bore that message? I might have felt more sympathetic if it had looked like this:
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(I'm assuming the driver was female. If there are any guys out there who wish they were Barbie, I'd love to know why.)
What does Barbie have? Having never owned one of the dolls myself, I'm no expert, but this is what I've observed:
- Long blonde hair, blue eyes
- Sculpted body
- Wide variety of fashion choices
- Dream house, where everything is pink
- Various dream cars, also pink
- Wide variety of jobs, hobbies, and acting roles
- Boyfriend with plastic hair and commitment issues
- Tight calves (it's a painful medical problem--you can tell from her foot position)
- Regular facelifts
While I admire Jaguars, I'm pretty sure I'll never buy one. I have more important things to spend time and money on:
- Wonderful, amusing, supportive, loving husband
- Four brilliant, fun, active, occasionally exasperating but overall good sons who need food, clothes, more food, education, wholesome extracurricular activities, more food . . .
- Comfortable house that we all like
- Vehicles that run (I'd hate to pick up boys from a muddy soccer practice in a Jaguar, but I don't mind if they get in the van)
- Resources to create my own fashion choices
- A job that requires a wide variety of skills--homemaking
- A strong belief that if we do the right things, and raise the boys right, our family can be together forever